A Revolution for Which No One Was Waiting

So, carpet, right? It’s a pain in the tuckus to have to vacuum it on the reg, but it’s certainly a lot better than mowing the lawn. Having vacuumed literally hundreds of times in my life, I can say that I’ve never so much as broken a sweat, let alone dreamed of the day when someone would spend untold thousands of dollars on research and development to make vacuuming easier.

So my question is: Just how hard do these clowns think vacuuming is?

Now, I can appreciate whatever the H-E-double-stuff-Oreo kind of technology they use to make their vacuums suck more (one of the few industries in which your product sucking is a good thing). That’s really the gist of vacuuming, after all; to suck up all the junk that’s gotten into your carpet.

But the stupid “ball” technology they put so much stock in, and the negative-eight-pounds or whatever their little handheld vacuum thingers weigh, not so much. Again, vacuuming ISN’T HARD TO BEGIN WITH. At all. So why work so dang hard to make it easier.

Some people clearly have waaay too much time on their hands, and waaay too much money to waste on stupid things like “creating the perfect vacuum.” I wish these guys would create the perfect shut the hell up instead.