Kev Dog the Evil Ice Man

So, if you’re like me, you ate way too much cheese over the holiday. I tried to hold back, but the Kev Dog needs him his gouda fix, braj.

Or, if you’re like me in a different way, you spent summers during your college years painting houses. It’s actually not a bad gig if you can get it. The pay is usually just a little over jack squat, but at least you get to be outside in the fresh air and you get the day off whenever it rains. Now, most of the time, the work itself wasn’t too difficult, ’cause how hard is painting? Not very.

Preparing a house for painting, however, is a really pain in the tuckus. Scraping and stripping the existing paint for 600 straight hours is not my idea of an awesome day on the job. So when I came across a website touting steam stripping systems, I immediately thought about how I could put such a thing to use in prepping a house.

I came to find out (after a bit more reading) that steam stripping is not really used for removing paint, and would be prohibitively expensive for such a task, but a guy can dream, can’t he? After spending far too much time thinking about how to make it work, I also realized that, oh yeah, I don’t work as a house painter anymore and haven’t for like five years. And even if I did, it’s the middle of winter and so cold here that the steam would probably just freeze solid, instantly killing anyone caught in its icy grip.

Hmm… maybe I could find a use for it after all. Mwa-ha-ha-haha-haha-haa!

Distillation: Inspiration for Blogification

So, I’ve come across quite a few strange devices in my incessant, insomniac internet inspections, but these ones are real humdingers. Specifically, humdingers in that the description of what they do is not nearly as interesting as what they actually do.

These gizmos I came across are called “distillation and purification systems,” which sounds awesome, because, yes, please, distill me some booze. And I guess purify it, too, so it tastes better, or whatever. Whaddaya got? Whiskey? Vodka? Scotch? Gin? Doesn’t matter, pour me a glass!

Anywho, it turns out these devices are used to remove solvents from water. Not sure what kind of solvents, exactly, because once I realized they weren’t meant for bootlegging hooch, I skedaddled. Curse you and your deceptive wording! And curse your deceptive wording for not really being all that deceptive because it actually is an accurate description of what the product does! So, really, curse the English language for having words that mean more than one thing! And, ultimately, curse the word “distillation” in particular, because it really does mean the same thing in both cases, but one way of interpreting it is way more fun!

And while we’re at it, curse the internet in general—thief of time and sleep! Just kidding, internet. I love you.

Electrical Equipment, or Evil Robot Ding Dongs?

One of the (many) problems of nigh constant insomnia is the astonishing level of punch drunkenness one reaches after a certain number of hours. When you’re as loopy as I often am after two or three straight sleepless nights, things start to look, shall we say, a bit askew.

Recently, my incessant internet inquisitions lead me to a site that sells toroidal power transformers. I really have no clue how these things work—the webpage said something about “lowest radiated magnetic fields” and “1,000 volts hipot,” but that doesn’t really clear things up. I have some inkling of what power transformers do, but what the H-E-double-stuff-Oreo “toroidal” means, I haven’t a clue (I’d look it up, but Google is all the way over there).

Anyway, the function of these devices isn’t what got my goose in a gander, it’s the form. Take a look:

The stuff of nightmares, this.

The stuff of nightmares, this.

And that’s one of the more mild-looking ones. These suckers look like someone took a good old, all ‘Merican Hostess Ding Dong and crossed it with one of those little robots that crawled into Keanu Reeves’ belly-button in The Matrix.

At this point, not only could I not sleep, I was also feeling goofy and borderline hallucinatory enough to be terrified of just such a thing as I described above. And, since the only thing that keeps me from falling over when I’m battling the arch nemesis that is my insomnia is sugary baked goods not unlike those peddled by the Hostess folks, I was nearly starved out by the time I actually did get some sleep.

So, thanks a lot, guy who designs toroidal power transformers. You’ve ruined snack cakes for me, possibly forever. How do you live with yourself? HOW???

Finding Aircraft Clips Online

So I was looking around online for some cool aircraft clips of airplanes doing tricks and stuff. I love flying and once, in a simpler time, wanted to be a pilot. We lived close to an FAA museum when I was a kid and we would go see the airplane shows and I just thought it was the coolest thing. Of course, as an adult, there is college, your job, kids, your life and other things that keep us firmly fastened in out monotony. But these “fasteners” have no bearing on where our dreams go.

And when I dream I honestly still think about those aircraft shows, with the little planes doing flips and stuff. Sometimes even small jets would come and it was amazing for a kid!

Here’s a clip of AirVenture, one of the coolest air shows I’ve ever heard about:

Gosh, that stuff is just so awesome, isn’t it? Part of me still wants to chase my dream sometimes. But usually I just go looking for aircraft clips online and find cool stuff to watch. Fasteners be damned, I still have youtube.