Starting off Weirdohead today with a doublewhammy, both related to zip ties. You know, those handy little plastic strips with teeth on them that you loop around onto themselves to hold things together or use as makeshift handcuffs on badass cop tv shows? Yeah, those zip ties.
No question but that zip ties are handy and useful things and there’s nothing terribly weird about them. We need zip ties, they’re handy to have around. You can pop to any hardware store or big box general store and pick up zip ties in whatever color or size you need.
But what’s weird is the idea of having a website devoted entirely to zip ties. Weirder still is finding two of them in one day.
It started when someone sent me a link to Zip Tie Guy, a site that does nothing but talk about zip ties with the kind of obsession that is usually reserved for your first love or duct tape. And admittedly there were some crazy zip tie implementations on the site, like zip tie dresses and chairs and even elaborate zip tie art using tens or hundreds of thousands of zip ties.
But then that site pointed to another site that is there to let you buy the zip ties. Really, a web store just to sell zip ties. And they have a bazillion different types, from mini zip ties to big ones, red ones, blue ones, releasable zip ties and other things that don’t really look anything like zip ties at all, but apparently have some relation.
I get that zip ties are useful, but they’re also like a buck or two for a dozen. How the hell can a web store stay in business just selling zip ties? Is this run by some employee of Home Depot who picked up a couple cases at a five finger discount and then decided to sell them to raise enough money to… I don’t know… buy a bottle of soda? I’m trying to imagine a scenario in which a store sells enough zip ties to stay in business and pay a wage, and I have to tell you, that’s a hell of a lot of zip ties.
And that, frankly, is the weirder scenario. The idea that this isn’t some guy in his basement, but instead is an actual company with a warehouse and employees and stuff. At that point you have to ask yourself… how the hell many zip ties do people buy? Are they really shipping out boxes and boxes of zip ties all day long, every day?
Yeah, I can’t decide which is more weird, but without question is makes the Weirdohead list of weird ass products being sold online.